Mealtime Companions

Something to Keep My Mind Busy... And My Thoughts Quieter.

If you've never recovered from an eating disorder, it's difficult to explain what sitting down to eat can feel like.

For me, every meal felt like a conversation I never wanted to have.

There was the plate in front of me... and then there was Ana.

Every mouthful came with an argument.
Every forkful brought guilt.
Every swallow felt like I'd done something wrong.

I knew eating was helping me recover, but that didn't stop the fear.

One thing that surprised me was discovering that I didn't always need to fight those thoughts head-on.

Sometimes I just needed to give my brain something else to do; a gentle activity that kept my mind occupied during those really challenging moments.

Word searches.
Sudoku.
Colouring.
Jigsaws.

Anything that occupied the part of my brain that Ana seemed determined to take over.

Sometimes a meal took twice as long.

Sometimes I only managed a few mouthfuls before needing to pause and find another puzzle.

And that was okay.

Recovery isn't about racing through meals.
It's about finding ways to stay with them.

That's why I created these companions.

I hope they make even one meal feel a little easier for you. And if one doesn't work, that's okay. Try another. We all find comfort in different things.

The important part isn't finishing the puzzle.

It's staying at the table.

Every meal you sit through is another step towards the life recovery is helping you build.

I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but I promise there is hope beyond the fear.

I hope these companions help you through the challenging conversations with your eating disorder until recovery becomes the louder voice.